Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I used to only read them for the naked tribal ladies

Apparently the folks over at National Geographic
have been busy with more than just making " When Great White Sharks Attack" documentaries. They have uncovered a 1700 year old Bible originally written by Judas Iscariot, the original Benedict Arnold, who sold Jesus out for a little bit a gold and a pager. That is, until Judas alleged in his tell-all autobiography that JC asked him to do it. Supposedly, Jesus wanted martyrdom or as the Gnostics put it a separation of the spirit from the flesh. I'm sorry Judas that "but, I thought that's what he wanted" excuse got a little played out in the third grade. I'm betting this one only gets to open as a Broadway play for "Wicked".

Also, the "missing link" between modern man and Homo Erectus was found in the African desert. This little guy kicked it around 250,000 years ago and was just beginning to use tools and his brain reflected it. I can't imagine how they found this little ass thing in the big ass desert. Well, if he was so smart he wouldn't have died. Besides, I ain't no Homo.
A couple weeks ago there was this gnarly dust that was all over the place in Seoul. It comes from China, where many miles of farmland is turning into dust every year due to unsustainable agriculture practices. It blew me away that the dust made it this far into Korea until reading that 5 years ago it made it all the way to the U.S.A. where people could see it in Denver. Well, what's under all that dust China? Can you see all the way to America? Many people wear a facemask to protect from the dust, but if they just put a giant facemask over the dusty areas we would be all set. Seriously, if 20,000,000 people are wearing a mask everyday that yellow dust comes creeping take that 20,000,000 square feet of dust mask (give or take due to ease of calculation) and make a giant mask that covers the 900 square miles of new dust land every year. And then people wouldn't have to buy the masks anymore. Wait, who's manufacturing those masks?


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