The roofs have wings

Here's how to cut it close when getting you Korean work visa on your next trip to Osaka, Japan.

1. Leave your house that is 30 minutes from the airport 2 1/2 hours before your flight is scheduled to leave.

2. Get on the slowest fucking bus in the world that takes 1 1/2 hours to get to the airport. Mind you I have ridden my bike to the airport in 1 1/2 hours leisurely not knowing where I was going.

3. Get on the shuttle bus to the international terminal.

4. Make sure the shuttle bus does not announce when you have arrived at said international terminal causing you to not get off and instead leave the airport.

5. Wait for a shuttle bus back to the airport that doesn't come.

6. Run 15 minutes back to the airport (add a pinch of cold rain for flavor).

7. Arrive at the check-in counter and be told you have overstayed your visa in Korea.

8. Go to the immigration office in the airport and explain to them that the visa says it expires in mid-March.

9. Be told that you must have misunderstood the visa and be sent back to the check-in counter to get your ticket that you must bring back to immigration.

If you follow all these steps to the letter, you can be guaranteed to miss your flight and have to reschedule.

(Actually, I didn't have to pay any visa overstay fine. I had to pay a ticket reschedule fee and go to Fukuoka instead. The airplane was scheduled to leave at 1:05 and arrive in Fukuoka at 2:20, which barring any delay and getting straight through immigration and customs would hopefully give me just enough time to get to the Korean embassy before they closed at 3:30.)

10. Have your plane be delayed due to some reason for 20 minutes.

11. Be the first one off the plane and run, pausing to stumble while sprinting down the hallway much to the chagrin of 3 Asian middle school girls.

12. See a group of 50 elementary students going to the immigration line in front of you.

13. Zip in front of said group.

14. Try not to appear to be a raving wildman while going through customs.

15. Hop into a taxi and pay $30 for a 15 minute taxi ride.

16. Arrive at the embassy with a scant 20 minutes to spare.
So there you go, no problemo. I wasn't worried a bit. By the way this is a picture of a spaghetti hot dog. Hai!!