I make D'oh, but don't call me D'oh boy

Armed with all of the episodes of the Simpsons past season 9 I am well on my way to having seen every one of the Simpsons episodes (I got 1-8 locked down). There have been some great moments, too many to list. Also, as Matt Groening revealed, Michael Jackson






did indeed supply the voice of the fat bald man in the insane asylum who thought he was Michael Jackson. Keep your freak flag flying MJ. You got to be on some way out shit to craft the catchiest pop tunes this side of Neil Diamond.
Anyway, in some great occurrence of cosmic alignment of our collective unconscious imperative, or that Homer and I eat a lot of hot dogs, as I sat down to watch an episode of the Simpsons while eating my dinner- a gourmet finely crafted hot dog, Homer was also at the Quickie mart eating a hot dog. That he said it was missing the pig anus taste he loved did nothing for my dinner, but Homer did become an inventor that episode. So refusing to let this time- space zeitgeist be chalked up to mere coincidence, I decided I needed to invent something. The best I came up with was a 2-in-1 shampoo conditioner travel bottle. You can put the shampoo in one end and the conditioner in the other. 2 products one bottle. Patent pending muthuhfucka.

So I was looking at a tube of Clinx toothpaste I got the other day and the tagline read "Anti-Calculus". I don't know if they meant anti-gingivitis or anti-plaque or if they hate math, but I think NoJive English Consultation is looking at a potential customer.
I also saw a post on 2080 toothpaste:
"2080? I don't trust that stuff anymore, after looking really closely on the package one day. Here's what the 2080 means: 당사의 축적된 노하우를 바탕으로 20개의 건강한 치아를 80세까지 보존하자는 치아의 VISION을 실현하기 위해 개발한 제품 입니다. Loose translation: Using our company's expertise, we developed a product that keeps twenty (20) healthy teeth until the age of eighty (80). Twenty teeth?!!?!"