Happy fucking birthday

In honor of cyberdiarrhea's 1st birthday (Dec. 16, but I was in Fukuoka, Japan), I would now like to publish my top 10 ways cyberdiarrhea has changed the world.

Cyberdiarrhea has...

1.ended world hunger and created world peace

2.invented electric toilet seats that will follow the yellow trail to the pecker of the fucker pissing on the toilet seat

3.instituted an official "don't ask, don't tell" policy in regards to scab eating

4.lulled you in with sweet whispers of a time long ago, and then picked your pocket

5.spread out football to every day of the week

6.made it o.k. to wear plaid and stripes

7.whipped up ice cream pizza

8.given 111 percent

9.made the number 9 sufficient to fill out top 10 lists