Shit fire, save the matches

Perhaps it was a good thing I could not find a lighter for the firecracker up my butt.
My Pollacks lost to Ecuador in soccer. And now in honor of World Cup my Top 10 Reasons Why Soccer is Gay...
1. Soccer mullets
2. Offsides
3. The way the players put their hands up and give that "what?" look when called for a foul
4. The way they try to draw fouls by pretending to fall
5. How they roll around on the ground after these falls like they are in agony
6. How serious everyone takes this shit
7. Hooligans
8. Ambiguous time limits prevent last ditch hurrah's
9. The way they plead after yellow cards
10. Ties
I guess now that I think about it replace mullets with afros and hooligans with whiggers and that is why basketball is getting sucky these days.