Monday, December 31, 2007

A List I Aspire To Be On

Stop saying what he did is a cultural thing, just one of those things black folks are known for, like jazz. He's not one of the Scottsboro boys, he electrocuted dogs.
Check out the rest of Bill Maher's Assholes of the Year over at Rolling Stone.


Thursday, December 27, 2007

How sweet, fresh meat

Yeah, my buddy rigged up a claw glove to go fishing (grabbing). Good job Freddy.

Little guys shoes are as big as his leg.
Extreme walking.

Hey, hey, hey.
The moves that won him 2nd place in a local dance contest (out of how many?)
Head over to to hear a truly jammin glee club version of Fugazi's "Waiting Room". On the reals.


Sunday, December 23, 2007

Anyway...We delivered the bomb
Had a bet with an Australian spear fishing shark lover (hippie) friend. I said the Cap'n Quint speech in Jaws was the real deal. He said no way and thought I was demonizing sharks. The facts are that when the USS Indianapolis sunk after being hit by a Japanese sub only 316 men came out alive. Survivor eyewitness accounts state that sharks came in and starting eating dead and alive sailors. The exact number is in question, ranging from a couple dozen to a few hundred. I think I have some money coming my way.


Thursday, December 20, 2007

Mucho Gustatory

3. WALTER LAGRAND, ARIZONA, 1999-- LaGrand asked for six fried eggs, 16 strips of bacon, one large serving of hash browns, a pint of pineapple sherbet, a breakfast steak, a cup of ice, 7-Up, Dr Pepper, Coke, hot sauce, coffee, two sugar packs. And, as a final item: four Rolaids.
This digestionally correct last meal request has to rank up there with, "why do they anesthetize the arm when giving lethal injections?"
You can check out more last meal requests on the website Apparantly among top chefs most of their dream last meal requests would be suprisingly simple. Fried goods and other comfort food seem to be the most popular. As for me? How about a cake with a file?


Monday, December 10, 2007

What the Hell is wrong with you Canada?

Canada, the land of the graphic cigarette warning package, once again shows us that subtlety is not one of their strong points. They have a new series of ads designed to stop everything from workplace accidents to domestic abuse by frightening people out of it. These ads are explicit as they are seemingly implausible. A man beats up a waitress in a restaurant. A man working on a skyscraper blows up and lands on a passing truck. I am now frightened to leave my house. All this from the country whose symbol is a tree leaf.

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A Book, A CD, and A Movie

... except that it's been awhile so I'm hooking you up with 2 of each; but they're pairs. First the CD's...
we're going to head over to the motherland to get two funky jazzy soul type joints coming from Ethiopia and the Congo. Mulu Astatke presents his entry in the Ethiopiques CD series. It sounds like a cantina band coming from under a purple tent in the middle of the desert. Kind of like the Star Wars cantina band but funkier.
Hugh Masekela represents the Congo to the fullest on the aptly titled, "Hugh Masekela presents". Afrobeaty, reggaey, souly, goody.
Keeping with the overseas vibe, our book selections come from two ladies- one from Canada the other from the England. I don't mean to get all Hemingway American man-only aggro, but let's just say I've been a bit soured from Maya Angelou type dames and their coterie of menstrating multi-colored weeping indian buffalo birds. But these chicks really knocked it out of the park. In the Blind Assassin, Margaret Atwood brings together 3 different stories- science fiction, noir, and a Sophia from Golden Girls old lady. Seemingly without regard for plot cohesion, the story also starts from the end. It all comes together and the reader has the choice to be judgmental or unassuming of the choices the old bird makes. Either way we get some insightful observations from Atwood.
Zadie Smith, in I believe her debut novel, describes 3 families from different countries at different times and how they all came to be friends. It's actually refreshing how self-absorbed the characters are that they don't pick up on the racial discrimination they get thrown at them. A great ending that abruptly stops in the right place.
...and the movies which on first glance don't seem to have anything to do with each other: a western and Broadway musical, and really don't have anything to do with each other, but are good movies I saw two days in a row: The Producers and 3:10 to Yuma.
3:10 to Yuma builds tension the whole movie. Good character development, the characters are multi-faceted. The ending was a little too unrealistic with morality being flipped around quickly. Maybe it and No Country for Old Men, a stylish Western, but with an ending maybe too realistic (no actual story) should have split the difference.
The Producers is a big-time show movie. Made by Mel Brooks who's going to be really big someday, I tell 'ya. It's got all his signature I just read a book on how-to make a comedy predictable jokes delivered through clenched teeth. He even works in some only-for the Jews jokes with actors looking slightly off camera as if to see who in the film crew got the joke. Big time show business. I think my grandma would like this movie.


Sunday, December 02, 2007


Dude, yesterday at work was so awesome. Tomiaki and me started the party with a long lunch at Hooters. We got a pitcher of Hooters beer and did Fuzzy Nipple (huh-huh) shots. Tomiaki asked the waitress if that was "all there was on the menu". Before the day ended at around 4:30 I snuck over to Tomiaki's cubicle and we did some shots of Hot Damn! under his desk. That shit's totally cool because it just smells like some good mouthwash. Smooth for the ladies. We totally cut out of work at like 4:55 instead of 5:00. Suckers! It was Friday so you know we were headed out to TGIF's. Wooo! We did some shots of Sex on the Beach there to go with our wings and potato skins. Let's just say our waitress there, if we were ever on a beach together, might be up for a little, you know. Tomiaki you smooth mother. After that the Reagle Beagle for some more beers. We played this drinking game where everyone has a role and you have to count numbers and say "Bullshit" if the President says 1 and it really should be 2. After that we hit the karaoke bar for some sake. Tomi dedicated his song to all the hot bitches out there and totally sung it sloppy and all passionate. It was time to call it a night. I walked with Tomi to the subway and got him on it. Let's do it again manana, bro!