Cyberdiarrhea: February 2006

Their's was a Forbidden Love

If you caught the Sugar Shane Mosley (why every boxer gotta be named Sugar?) fight against Fernando Vargas Saturday you were treated to a real dandy of a bout. Both fighters were highly regarded coming into the match and both put on a good show. There wasn't too much shakin' goin on, just some combinations and dodging toe to toe. In the pre-fight press conference the men almost came to blows over Vargas telling one of Mosley's corner men who was sporting some Love Boat captain's hat he looked like Cap'n Crunch. The two men bet $100,000 on the fight although that's chump change when the payoff's multi-mil's. They all smokin' the glass dick with these fools anyways. Anyway when the jabberin stopped and the jabbin began Vargas got a big knot on his head in the first that swelled shut and caused the fight to be stopped in the ninth or tenth. Let's all be friends. Besides everyone knows Rocky Marciano was the greatest boxer of all time.

Whatever happened to Pearl Jam?

Mopey little stickmen.

Chuckles

This guy once read that movie stars don't take no fuckin shit from fuckin anybody.
Some hockey brouhaha.
Check out more of this ill shit at bruyon.com. My homies who produced
AbuseDeuce and Bruyon.com ass astringents.
Also download Ron White. Funny ass shit. What are you waiting for?

punk fuckin rawk

Saturday night and lookin for the party...

...shouts to Mad Mike for the pix...

...the ladies, the ladies...

...after much alcohol abuse we set out...

...and then we set out on the town...

...some over the top theatrics ensued...

helluva line-up, including a band from Japan, Kaneeshee wa mofos

see ya in the pits braugh...
...and all was right when the missing fifth
...crowd surfin abounded... member of the band was reunited (check out the
hair lines in homeboy- ice ice baby)

Battlecry pride

Check these wankers out: Battlecry.

Cheap thrills

-The Millenieum Force at Cedar Point with a 300 foot plus drop and 80 DEGREE first drop. That's almost straight down kiddies. Cedar Point is truly the roller coaster enthusiast's wet dream. Went to an amusement park out here that ain't too shabby and was a good time, Lotte World (although for some reason you have to sign in at the beginning- stupid). With rides like the Pharoah's Fury and some other ride that dropped you straight down it got a few screams out of me. We got a picture on one ride where our friend on her first roller coaster is white-knuckling the handbar and who's facial expression is one of abject terror. The dude on the back of the coaster has his hands pressed together in full on prayer. A good ride.

Olympic fever

Didn't see the Olympic opening ceremonies, but I read about them. "Luciano Pavarotti performed "Nessun Dorma," ("Let No One Sleep"), from Puccini's "Turandot," an aria that the tenor has turned into a signature piece.
While that closing number sent spectators home happy, it was the parade of nations that really got the party going.
More than 2,500 athletes arrived to the accompaniment of chest-thumping disco ranging from "YMCA" by the Village People to "I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.
Italy, as host country, entered last and brought down the house. Dressed in fur-trimmed coats, against the pulsating, popular Italian pop song "Una Donna Per Amico" ("A Woman For a Friend"), the crowd jumped to its feet, and shouted while ringing souvenir cow bells provided by show organizers.
The program opened with Yuri Chechi, one of Italy's most famous gymnasts, swinging a mighty hammer onto a giant anvil that sparked tall flames. Rollerbladers in red body suits zoomed across the stage, two-foot flames shooting out the back of their heads.
Next came a tribute to the seven countries abutting the majestic Alps -- including Austria, Germany and France. Dancers wearing green sheaths pranced near brightly painted fake cows pulled on rollers. It was a homage to mountain life and livestock, and to cheer both, the stadium audience was supplied with the cow bells.
In what executive producer Marco Balich described as an "iconic moment," silver-clad dancers appeared with big, white bubbles stuck to their heads. Balich, who has staged concert shows for U2 and the Rolling Stones, said the balls signified snow, of which there is none in Turin."

All of this was said to convey the Italian sense of "passion". What? Was there giant walking chest hairs popping out of mock silk shirts? Did the IOC president put out a hit on his main rival? Was there postmodern spaghetti stains on interpretive wifebeaters while the crowd hooted minalmist whistles at leering big haired women passerby's? Don't make me send in our secret weapon you goombahs...

I'm just burnin', doin' the neutron dance

Sometimes you just feel alright. Beaches, ice cream, pretty ladies. This is supposed to be my "slow motion running on the beach" scene a la Baywatch. However, on a single image camera it is more like "stop motion James Brown meets Ralph Macchio". Hyo Sook protects her ice cream from flying sand.
Been feeling the funk lately. Grabbin up some jams such as Babe Ruth- a mid 70's funk band with some groovalicious chops and a chick that can wail away on vocals. Mars Volta owes them a few beers. Also check out the Incredible Bongo Band- a Superman ice cream flavored bongo flurry that does an Inna-Gada-Davida and has spurred more b-boy breaks than a faulty slab of cardboard.
Starting a new business, NoJive English Consultation. After seeing a slew of English phrase misappropriations in advertising settings here in Korea, I have decided to contact these organizations and offer my services as a speaker with 28 years of decimating the English language down to its most base grunts and woo-hoo-hoo's.
Went to the best subway station stop of my life the other day. A bar with giant bottles of Miller, a bowling alley, and a Karaoke Bar all in the basement of one subway stop. The giant bottles didn't help with the bowling, but certainly improved the more subjective singing. I realized the secret is doing songs with "na-na-na-na" lyrics- Hey Jude, Angel is a Centerfold, and I will be working on the Brady Bunch anthem "Sha-na-na-na-nah". Stay tuned...