Friday, September 28, 2007

Ethnographic Study #15698

Deep in the jungle of the Amazon, the reclusive Algonquin tribe has managed to avoid all outside contact. They carry on customs and traditions established thousands of years ago and remain impervious to outside influence. Upon establishing contact with the Algonquins our band of explorers was taken to the chief, a powerful man with an upright carriage and a serious personality. When asked about the main religion of the Algonquin, the chief replied that the tribe only worships one source, a totem pole (seen above). When pressed about the origins of the pole the chief replied that the pole has been in the tribe since the oldest of the elders could remember and stories that have been passed down allude to that it was brought down by aliens in a spaceship and left as a present for the ancient Algonquins. Worshipping the pole is reportedly beneficial for "stamina" although the narrator was unable to verify this quantitatively.

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Nazi Scum

...it's actually a Buddhist flag.
Saw the Bourne Ultimatum yesterday. Good flick. Couple beefs. Why can't they seem to hold the camera still? It looks like they got someone who just got his first camera having an epileptic seizure while filming. I understand they're going for a "gritty" "realistic" look, but I think it's "vomit-inducing". Come on, haven't we got over this since they started it on NYPD Blue back in the redhaired guy's day. (He sure showed them) Beef #2 and again this is related to giving it that edgy feel is the lack of sound. I'm not saying there needs to be epic diatribe especially in an action movie, but there are some parts in that movie (chase scenes) where there is no dialogue, no music, no background effects for like 20 minutes, maybe the sound of the people breathing or their footsteps. Throw in some dramatic music, a few quips from a smart-ass sidekick, a Bourne tagline- "Here we go again", something to elevate the medium beyond the silent-movie era. Also, since when did zipping the camera between two people and focusing on their confused emotional faces substitute for a conversation. When Bourne first encounters the chick their is no talking, just two pained expressions that are zoomed in on back and forth. It basically amounted to "Can you help me?" "Well, I saw you in the first movie, so sure." We're talking about a movie where the guy survives explosions, 10 story falls out of buildings, hired assassins, and car crashes all because he got some special training. I'm not concerned with how palpable the tension is between the girl and Bourne. But, it was entertaining.

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

One Ring to rule them all

Hobbit-Like Human Ancestor Found in Asia
One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, And in the darkness bind them. Or in
Elvish: Ash Nazg durbatul√Ľk, Ash Nazg gimbatul Ash Nazg thrakatul√Ľk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Running to run






Terry Fox had his leg amputated because of cancer. He then tried to run across Canada to raise money to fight cancer. Sunday I ran in the Terry Fox run, a 10 km run that is held in places all over the world every year. I made it running the whole way. 10 km was longer than I thought. I really hit the wall about 7 km. Terry Fox ran 40 km-every day-for 200 days-on one leg.




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Monday, September 17, 2007

You owe me 50 bucks Don

Going into Monday night football it was a three way tie in our weekly football pool. It was going to come down to points as we all had the Eagles. The two other guys had 37 total points and I was good for 41. So, 39 was the magic number. 4th quarter the Eagles trail 20-12 with time running down. If they score a touchdown they have to go for two which makes it a win or lose proposition in terms of our bet. A couple of nice passes and catches gets the Eagles to the Washington 12. Donovan misses a wide open receiver around the 2 which would have at least given them a first down. A couple other bungles and we get 4th down. The receiver catches the pass, but the defender puts a well-placed helmet on the ball which sends the ball, the Eagles hope, and my 50 bucks spiraling away onto the turf...

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Friday, September 14, 2007

cyberdiarrhea's "great olympic moments"

In 1956, 200,000 Russians rolled into Hungary in tanks and crushed the uprising that had started in Budapest, leaving 30,000 dead. 4 weeks after, at the olympics in Melbourne, the Russian and Hungarian water polo squads faced off in a bitter match that left Hungarian player Ervin Zador with a big cut and became known as the "blood in the water" match. After the injury, the mostly pro-Hungarian crowd had to be cleared from the arena for the safety of the Russian team. Hungary won the game 4-0 and went on to win the gold medal the next game and independence from Russia in 1991.

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Saturday, September 08, 2007

Cold Bitch

I tried complementing her on her hat, but she was all "Too Cool 4 School", so I was like whatevs.

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Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Go Blow

We all knew perennial overratees UofM would choke, but who would have thought it would come this early? The announcers couldn't even pronounce the name right, but Appalaichan State handed it to 'em in what many are saying may be the biggest upset in college football history. App State is on a 15 game win streak and is expected to repeat as Div-II champs again this year, so they aren't exactly slugs, though. Check out the last 1:45 to hear the sound of 110,000 silent voices.

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