Monday, May 29, 2006

Mah-johngg madness

Been playing mahjongg solitaire on the computer- 15 minutes to finish- beat that. Glad to hear that the name means "hemp general" in Chinese. I am the Hemp Leutienant Colonel. Rumor has it Confucius invented the game (Wikipedia- keeper of all knowledge). I think he said "He who plays mahjongg on-line computer game will be hooked like a crackhead junkie." In terms of strategy try to get rid of the ones on top and the ones to the side to free up more available outside tiles first.

Monday, May 22, 2006


Make yourself just go,
with nowhere to go,
don’t wait for the noble inspiration of walking to find the end point of the walk
is walking
turned into a heightened awareness of discovering.
Looking for something to look for,
the search brings itself to me and
brings me to my surroundings.
People walking by smug
in their security of proper arrangement and
Satisfied in their smugness
Smug in their satisfaction
The character types strode confidentially off to their distractions
We meet, influence, and depart
Everyone 3 seconds
claiming this
like a continent.
I validate
Defined by them and Defining me by me defining them.
The rain brought the light to shine off everything like one surface
except from dark recessed brooding enclaves
under buildings that leaned over from above.
From which heads turned with each passerby,
Eyes protruding out for something they wanted and sized up how they could have that.
Desire and coveting spilled forth from itchy hands.
Spreading a cool skin over everything
A sky of lighted windows each with their own scene looking out from within
Dirt built up on sidewalks
crept forward from its temporary concession
threatening to retake the city
People walking past and everyone
just not just stopping.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

My precious. They wants to hold me precious but me no let the hobbits near me dear sweet precious.- Vice

Solar trip

Man, I don't understand money. I just paid off all my credit cards. This is the first time I have been debt free in like 10 years. It feels good. I ain't gonna work for Maggie's farm no more. I don't understand this whole not enough money thing. What does it mean it costs money to send rockets to outer space? Why does it cost money to build solar energy cells when solar energy is FREE? I mean I feel like a little kid who is questioning something and I get this adult answer and I don't feel quite satisified with it, like someone's not telling me somthing. We can do it. Why don't we do it? I think money got confused with satisfaction somewhere along the way. Look at baseball players. The old players they used to work second jobs. Tell me Ted Williams isn't as good as Tony Gwynn (the best modern day hitter we will ever see, sans roids obviously). Also overpopulation sucks. There are enough people in the world as it is. Why do you feel the need to pass on your genes? Adopt some kids. They are all the same. They will all snot and poop the same. I think it is some overinflated overcompensation for earlier personal childhood defiencies. Stop breeding. Enjoy life. Go solar. Someone lend me 10 bucks. I just paid a lot on bills.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Independent Review

My boy Dave Willy over at sent me this video he made. It's pretty cool and he's pretty stoked about it. I thought he should lose the Sesame Street sheets, but he said it represents "simpler times." Check it out for yourself.

The Downtown Scene

written by guest writer: Chutney Wythe

There was a swinging gala last week at the ultra-hip Chugulay Bar in the trendy Yeonhee-Dong district of Seoul. There to celebrate glamour girl Hyo Suk's birthday was an A-list roster of celebs and debutantes. The decorations were done in an early 80's Gaudeville motiff. Catering was provided by Chicago Pizza and
Sahruga Market Bakery. In this writer's honest opinion, isn't the whole "birthday" thing being done to death, though?

Bad Boys Deux

Alright boys, it's time to buckle down and take it to Lebron and the Cavs. BenWa, 4 times in 5 years defensive player of the year needs to conjure the spirit of Dennis Rodman and shut it down. Rip needs to swarm like Isaiah Thomas. Chauncey needs to run it like Joey D. Tayshaun's gonna step outside and pop the 3 like the Microwave. Sheed's gonna fire it up like Bill Laimbeer. Even McDyess is gonna get in some Spider Salley action. A complete unit firing in cohesion like...Pistons.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Atomic Dog

One of these is a painting by Alex Grey. The other is a microscopic image of the fungal spores of penicillin. Both were inspired by advances that took place in 1943- the discovery of acid and penicillin. Both were discovered by German scientists. Both were funded by the U.S. Rockefeller Institute and perfected in Western Europe. Both's source is mold fungus. Both are pretty cool. Source- Colors Magazine Both were overshadowed by another invention that same year...

Both will prove to be more important.

Monday, May 08, 2006


In an effort to help make the English language as percise as possible and in so doing promote greater social harmony, because communication is the key to understanding, as every multi-racial social service non-profit has written into their mission statement, I give to you varying degrees of Wasted.

Buzzed- The effects of whatever choice intoxicant are beginning to permeate into the nervous system and exert a noticeable effect. This is not enough.
Lit- This is a state, qualitatively different than other degrees and not necessarily bound to a quantitative comparison with others', but this seems like about where it's at. You can still function pretty well. In fact one has the perception of functioning hyper-well. Objects seem to have a certain aura about them. That is coming from within. Also, one wants more of this. This leads to...
Shnookered-This is about where things might start going a bit downhill. I don't know the etymolygy of this term but the slurred "s" sound closely approximates the speech patterns produced from those residing within this state. This is taken as "free speaking", by the Shnookered advocate. In so pursuing more of this truth serum, one "pro"-gresses into...
Wasted- The Wasted person can feel a lack of bodily and mind control and just doesn't care. Dabblers of this condition can often be seen dancing in flailing irreverent gyrations, inspiring others to achieve the maximum potential within, getting very emotional about how much you love your first pet, and generally pursuing a Dionysian oblivion that will invariably lead to...
Hammered- Often greeted with a "Whoa!", Hammered is an aptly titled level of intoxicated that feels a bit as if one has been beat with a hammer. Not one of those metal framing hammers roofers use, but more like a big plastic clown hammer, a big plastic clown hammer that Bozo the Clown, Shakes the Clown, and John Wayne Gacey creep up behind you with and proceed to unleash on your wasted ass with the most stringent of beatdowns befitting one who would dare act like more of a clown than them. Of course one needs one or two more of whatever after this and so one becomes...
Annhialated- If you have come this far you are going for broke and so this is really just a transition phase on your way to...
Obliterated- Blackness envelopes the initiate like a napkin absorbing a spill- advancing along the periphery and then sousing through to the core. The mind-body splits as the mind makes clear to the body it is going to sleep and could the body please find a suitable area for repose. Occasionally this is the bed, more occasionally it is as the bathroom rug at a all night truck stop. If one has strong momentum when entering obliterated or one has the fortitude to endure through Obliterated than that Holy Grail of altered states, that rarest of conditions might be achieved...
Death- That great kegger in the sky where you'll be snortin' yay with Freud, poppin tabs with Leary, slammin' brandy with Bonham, and chasing it with speedballs with Belushi it's a wild hootnanny of a good time just don't go there before last call.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

They stole my idea

Walking around today and came up with the idea for a website that lists where songs get their samples from. Great idea right?
There are two schools of thought when pooping into a nasty toilet. 1. Get close to the water so that there is little splash during the entry- I shall call this the Greg Louganis poo. 2. Get far away from the water so that the water does not splash on your derrier. This will be known as the Take Cover shit. Which side are you on?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The animals go to the zoo

Went to the zoo on Monday with Hyo Sook. It was a great zoo.
We saw monkeys doing it. There was an animal fight (just a lot of noise). Lions are sleepy. Elephants take big dumps. They also hose themselves off with water which they like. I think they should put all of the animals in one exhibit and see what happens. For science.


As I was "bugged" the fuck out by mosquitoes last night I was thinking of killing the little fuckers. As gratifying as the zap of one of the overly curious little pests could be while sitting out back and watching a bug zapper I found out that they don't actually kill that many mosquitoes and actually may attract more than kill.
I saw an ad for OK Pizza here in Seoul. It was funny because I was listening to a very funny comedy album you should check out -"Invite Them Up". One of the skits on there was about how the comic would love to see a pizzeria in New York that wasn't "Famous". Well, come on out to OK Pizza.
GoogleEarth is cool. It makes the earth seem really small. And I can see you.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Gambling with Buddha

... is the title of this post. It was a rather eventful weekend. Saturday after my obligatory teacher-student afternoon we checked out Buddha's Birthday party in Insadong. My man knows how to throw a righteous bash. There was a parade with a 100 meter long dragon and other paper floats (look rapidly from left to right at the pictures below to feel like you are at the parade.) All this culminated with dance performances at a stage that shot flames, sparks, and bubbles while jamming rock music. Buddha, Buddha, Buddha!
This 500 year old tree was supported, but still had leaves at the top. I will take a cane if I can still have my hair.

These are lanterns in the temple that represent wishes and the need to see where you are going. Good thing we bought a little redemption earlier because now for the sin...
after the party I played a little Texas hold-'em with Dave and a few friends. I may have lost a little in terms of money, but it's all part of the hustle baby. After that we busted it back to Sinchon and met up at Rolling Stone bar for some good times and overpriced Cokes.
(me and my bodyguards Mike "don't make me repeat myself" and Al "I shouldn't have had to tell you the first time"- notice the flamboyont money gesture with the hand)

Sunday started with some whopping omelettes to settle down a few unstable guts. Then off to the races. The Seoul Racetrack is quite nice with mountains in the background and well-maintained facilties. But what would truly be beatiful would be to win on an exacta. The crowd was large (perspective provided courtesy of Hye Jean's head) and the money was flowing. I got into my groove and almost hit on a q-p with 1 of my 2 picks winning and the other getting nosed out of placing at the line and me out of 50 buckaroos. In the last race I was playing a big payout exacta which actually stood up for oh, about 3 seconds as the rounded the final turn before fading fast.'s all just another day at the races.